I think i am getting sick again. I am really tired. Since my mom got back from Hong Kong, she has been constantly telling me to rest more. I think she is worried i would end up like my cousin. It breaks my heart to know that my choices in life is worrying her, but i don't have a choice. If working two jobs can help the people around me live more comfortably I would gladly do it with a smile on my face. From time to time i would look out my office window and wish i was outside playing like i was a kid again. When i was younger i wanted to grow up so fast to make money for my family, but now that i am old i wish i can be free like a kid again. I feel terrible every time I think this way. Being a kid again means my mom has to bare the stress of supporting all of us again. I've asked god for the chance to take the load off her shoulders, and he granted my wish. I shouldn't complain, because this is what i always wanted.
I was hired at my day job during the hardest time of our economy. I was very bless and lucky to be hired at my company. My salary is more than generous. Even if i didn't have the financial need to stay here, I don't have the hearts to leave. I want to go back to school more than anything. I want to be able to dedicate more of myself to Pretty&Cute, but i feel like i am taking my luck for granted. People would kill to have my job. Sometimes i wish there were more hours in the day so i can do more.
I'm not unhappy, I would be happier if I am able to support my family and not having them worry about me at the same time.