It's funny how the only time i can think of something to write on my blog is when i am in the car, but after i reach my destination, my urge to write a blog is no longer there. I sit in front of the computer attempting to write what i thought to be a meaningful blog, but quickly get deleted due to my insecurities. Am i writing too much? Am i revealing too much about myself? It seems like the good old days of writing what ever comes to mind isn't an option for me anymore. A part of me want to show my readers a strong positive me, but there are things in life that can pull the most positive person down. Nothing in this world is perfect and everything in this world has a fair balance. The more you receive the more you lose. I try my best to be optimistic, especially with death. No matter how strong I am, there are just somethings i can't face. Losing the presence of a love one is never easy. Even if it's slowly killing me inside, i must put on an approachable face. If i don't keep it together, everyone around me will fall with me.
From time to time you would hear people say, "You have no idea how hard it is to be me." I sometimes wish i would have the ability to be in someone else's shoes. If i am able to compare their life with my own, maybe than i wouldn't feel like what i am experiencing is such a big deal.
I think god intentionally guide me to open our shop and launching our new site at the same time. Maybe he knows I needed this. Failing is not an option for me anymore, it is more so now than ever.