Sorry for the lack of post lately, I simply don't have enough inspiration to right. All i can think about is my cousin and my aunt. I am very close to all my aunt, especially this aunt. She is my mom's sister, she is like a second mother to me. How can a tall healthy man all of the sudden have only 3 more years to live?
Yesterday i got a phone call from my mom telling me my younger cousin Franky is diagnose with throat cancer. I could not breath, i don't know how to react. I am fully aware that death is a part of life and everyone has to go through it, but why him? He is so young, he shouldn't have to be put through this. He has always been healthy. He is tall, big, and strong. If you guys met him you would never guest he was sick. I thought about dropping everything and fly over there and be with my family, but my mom said even if i came there wouldn't be anything i can do to change the fact. I feel so guilty, i feel like i am being a bad cousin if i can't drop everything i am doing to comfort him.
I can't drop everything and go, I have 4 families to support. If i drop everything I would be letting them down. I feel so weak. I have always considered myself as a smart person, and there is nothing i can't solve or handle if i put my mind to it. I thought about it all day and night, but i still can't come up with a solution. The doctor said he is at his last stage and the cancer is reproducing way too fast.
My aunt only has one son. She is almost 60 years old. She doesn't deserve this. She is the nicest person you can ever meet. She lives a humble life, she saves every penny and don't waste anything. I often send her money and she would not accept. She never took advantage of me, instead encourage me, and i feel like i can't even save the only thing that she feels wealthy of having.
I am trying to be optimistic, but how can I when i am healthy and living here when he is suffering. What if it was me? How will my mom take it? I am lucky, if anything happens to me my mom still has my brother. I know as i get older, more people i love will be leaving me, but i didn't expect this soon, and i didn't expect it to be a younger family member.