I recently added an old friend on facebook. Her description talked about how proud she is of her childhood and how she would not trade it for anything. As i read her description i can't help but envy her. She has always known to be the perfect girl. Cheerleader captain dated the captain of the football team. All around American girl. When i was younger i use to go to her house for birthday parties. She was the only child she got everything she wanted. In return she was a straight A student. Her parents were very supportive of her.

It is human nature to compare, and some how i found her as a target to compare myself with. I have always envied her. She was perfect in my eyes. I remember one time in class the school teacher pulled out her report and told everyone in the class we should all learn from her. He said her report was flawless. I remember going home that day practicing my handwriting because i to wanted someone to be proud of me.

It is not easy growing up in a single family home. I can't even remember my mom attending any of my plays in school. I don't blame her, i know how hard it is to make a living. When you need to paid for rent and these things just don't seem important at all. I never told her how it stuck with me to adulthood. This will only make her sad.

I am horrified of knowing my brother will get the same childhood as me. Since i was 15 i would do my best to attend his plays. The smile on his face to see someone in the crow who was there to support him is so vivid in my mind i feel like i have changed a bit of my childhood as well.

Even though my brother thinks i am a bully sister who always yell at him, he has no idea how much i love him.

Not a lot of people know about my childhood and it's not a proud one to be told. Because of the hardship my family faced i grew up way too fast. If there is one advice i have for young girls out there that would be, don't take time for granted. We lose our childhood before we know it. Things will get better. Don't give up.

1 comment:

  1. I love what you said.
    You are a good sister to look out for your brother!
    But if you look back, you may not see it, but you're a stronger person than that other girl~
    AND you have a sibling, unlike her~